On May 31 at 3 pm I started going into labor. I figured I had plenty of time before the contractions really kicked in. I sat on the couch with my mom and Chris trying to eat a little chicken soup when they started hitting me harder than earlier. I was in active labor before I knew it.
By 11 pm I was 7 centimeters dilated and we thought we may be having this baby in a couple of hours. As the sun rose on the next morning labor continued to be hard. My cervix was in the way of letting the baby come down and be born. We tried many positions and did cervical massage with evening prim rose oil and arnica. My cervix was not letting go of his little head. That day for me was the hardest day I had ever endured. Not only was I amazed by my own inner strength and will power but, also that of my loving birth team around me. Having my mom's loving hands to soothe and caress me during scary or painful times was something I never knew I needed as much as I did that day. The love I felt for my husband had overwhelmed me. I remembered looking into his eyes and grabbing a hold of some extra strength that I needed. The calming loving voices from Mason and Liesl my midwives grounded me and kept me focused. However at 7pm June 1st we knew we had exhausted every method possible. We headed for John Muir Hospital. I was given Pitocin and 4 hours to labor even harder. I refused the epidural in hope that the pitocin alone would do the trick. The pitocin was insane and made the contractions unbearable. I went ahead with an epidural around 11pm. The doctor told me he would use a vacuum to pull the babies head down so I could push him out. We all thought this would be easy. It was midnight and I was told at 12:30 The doctor would come in I would push with the use of the vacuum and we may have this baby after all. The darn cervix was still in the way. It was getting caught in the doctors vacuum. We had to move forward once again on to a cesarean delivery.
Leaving the hospital room on my way to the surgery I cried out with fear and defeat. I was so angry my body could not do what I had wanted it to do. I was scared of the surgery. I was scared of the unknown. The loving arms of my mom wrapped around me and told me never think like that. You are amazing she said you did everything for the baby you could. Chris kissed me told me how proud he was of me. He would be right by me and not to worry. I also had prayers and love coming from the waiting room. There in the hospital waiting room we had our whole family. Sitting and praying and waiting to know we were all okay. I have never knew love like this before. The bright lights of the room were never what I had imagined for the birth of my baby. I remember laying there with warm hot tears streaming down my face falling to the floor. I laid so still and almost empty. I had Chris's eyes to look up at and comfort me. I said little to him but he knew when I needed a little kiss on the forehead to make it all alright. I love his eyes. He is the best thing I had ever been blessed with in my life. Until June 2nd 1:33am we were given a son. Julian Mark we named him.
Our little boy worked as hard as I did he needed a few days to recover in the infant care nursery. That was so hard not having the instant time to bond together.
Once in our room we could bond as a family. We both had tears of joy. Tears of excitement. Tears of unbelievable love.
On June 5th we left the hospital. I will never forget leaving the parking lot. I started to cry as we drove away. The birth was not how I planned it. It was much harder than I ever wanted it. I knew my family and some friends wondered why I ever tried for a home birth. I tried because I believe that it can be done and a home is the best place for it. I was very comfortable in my home the time I spent there. I had so much freedom to move and do what I needed to feel good. I had the best labor team possible and I will never forget that. I realize that this is my labor story and every women who has had a baby has one too. It may only be significant to me. And that is just fine. I am so happy to be home and have my little family together. Life is good!
On May 31 at 3 pm I started going into labor. I figured I had plenty of time before the contractions really kicked in. I sat on the couch with my mom and Chris trying to eat a little chicken soup when they started hitting me harder than earlier. I was in active labor before I knew it.
By 11 pm I was 7 centimeters dilated and we thought we may be having this baby in a couple of hours. As the sun rose on the next morning labor continued to be hard. My cervix was in the way of letting the baby come down and be born. We tried many positions and did cervical massage with evening prim rose oil and arnica. My cervix was not letting go of his little head. That day for me was the hardest day I had ever endured. Not only was I amazed by my own inner strength and will power but, also that of my loving birth team around me. Having my mom's loving hands to soothe and caress me during scary or painful times was something I never knew I needed as much as I did that day. The love I felt for my husband had overwhelmed me. I remembered looking into his eyes and grabbing a hold of some extra strength that I needed. The calming loving voices from Mason and Liesl my midwives grounded me and kept me focused. However at 7pm June 1st we knew we had exhausted every method possible. We headed for John Muir Hospital. I was given Pitocin and 4 hours to labor even harder. I refused the epidural in hope that the pitocin alone would do the trick. The pitocin was insane and made the contractions unbearable. I went ahead with an epidural around 11pm. The doctor told me he would use a vacuum to pull the babies head down so I could push him out. We all thought this would be easy. It was midnight and I was told at 12:30 The doctor would come in I would push with the use of the vacuum and we may have this baby after all. The darn cervix was still in the way. It was getting caught in the doctors vacuum. We had to move forward once again on to a cesarean delivery.
Leaving the hospital room on my way to the surgery I cried out with fear and defeat. I was so angry my body could not do what I had wanted it to do. I was scared of the surgery. I was scared of the unknown. The loving arms of my mom wrapped around me and told me never think like that. You are amazing she said you did everything for the baby you could. Chris kissed me told me how proud he was of me. He would be right by me and not to worry. I also had prayers and love coming from the waiting room. There in the hospital waiting room we had our whole family. Sitting and praying and waiting to know we were all okay. I have never knew love like this before. The bright lights of the room were never what I had imagined for the birth of my baby. I remember laying there with warm hot tears streaming down my face falling to the floor. I laid so still and almost empty. I had Chris's eyes to look up at and comfort me. I said little to him but he knew when I needed a little kiss on the forehead to make it all alright. I love his eyes. He is the best thing I had ever been blessed with in my life. Until June 2nd 1:33am we were given a son. Julian Mark we named him.
Our little boy worked as hard as I did he needed a few days to recover in the infant care nursery. That was so hard not having the instant time to bond together.
Once in our room we could bond as a family. We both had tears of joy. Tears of excitement. Tears of unbelievable love.
On June 5th we left the hospital. I will never forget leaving the parking lot. I started to cry as we drove away. The birth was not how I planned it. It was much harder than I ever wanted it. I knew my family and some friends wondered why I ever tried for a home birth. I tried because I believe that it can be done and a home is the best place for it. I was very comfortable in my home the time I spent there. I had so much freedom to move and do what I needed to feel good. I had the best labor team possible and I will never forget that. I realize that this is my labor story and every women who has had a baby has one too. It may only be significant to me. And that is just fine. I am so happy to be home and have my little family together. Life is good!
Having a home birth allows for many choices with your birth plan. We have rented this portable hot tub. I will have the opportunity to relax and be comfortable. Water births are gentle and safe. The Tub will have jets as well as warm soothing water.
